Expecting the unexpected
Taking life's challenges in your stride
Solo travelling can be fraught with what ifs, oh no’s and WTF am I going to do now moments. Whatever happens it is up to you to sort it out. There’s no second person with another great idea, no one to brainstorm with, or to encourage you to keep going, or to just hold your hand, give you a hug and tell you everything is going to be ok. You need to do these things yourself, say these things to yourself, and believe in yourself to get back on track. You need to expect the unexpected, be prepared for the challenges, the upsets, the delays and take them all in your stride without catastrophising over every tiny setback. If I did catastrophise and whine about every little thing that went wrong, I would never travel at all let alone travel solo as often as I do. I would be an absolute anxious mess.
I’ve previously written about things that have gone wrong for me, learning to be uncomfortable and being down in the dumps in the middle of a trip. When things go wrong you will want to scream and cry and throw a tantrum like a two-year old. Take that attitude somewhere private and scream if you must. Or not. I cried in the middle of Mexico City because no street vendors or museums would change my “large” note and I was hungry. I literally cried because I had no small change! My overreaction to simple things like this is fascinating to me because I would never get so upset at home. But at home I also know how to get change, where to get change and who will help me, as well as speaking the same language. On this day in Mexico City, after crying until my eyes hurt, I ended up going to a fancier café to spend my “large” note. I really did want to try the street food, so I got some later when I was calmer and had the appropriate change. Yes, I had double lunch but it was hella worth it in the end!
Episodes such as these can teach you a mountain of lessons about yourself and on situations you might have overlooked. Like no matter how great Google Translate is, it doesn’t help if you can’t access it due to a lack of coverage or your data ran out. I found this out the hard way when a bus I was on broke down. As a result I missed my connecting bus. At the bus station I couldn’t use the Translate app as my phone wasn’t connecting to the free wi-fi. I also couldn’t speak Spanish. Eventually, with the help of some pretty shitty charades and the ticket of the broken down bus, I was able to establish it wasn’t my fault I missed my connecting bus and was placed on the next bus at no extra charge.
As a result of this specific incident and my uncanny inability to operate a mobile phone in a crisis, I have purchased a pocket language guide to take on my next trip, similar to pre-mobile phone travel when I always had a travel guidebook with me. I will also make sure I have small amounts of change on me at all times, especially for those times when you don’t expect to run into a large street market with fragrant-smelling street food that makes your mouth water. These are the unexpected delights of solo travel that I love and why it makes sense to me to only loosely plan trips. Very loosely.
While situations like this are the worst in the moment, eventually you will come to recognise these setbacks as a learning opportunity. A time of growth. And you will know what to do and how to handle it the next time a similar thing happens to you, even though you might have gone bonkers the first time, and perhaps the second time too. I’m not saying anything gets any easier, I still struggle with many things while travelling, but I know they’re not going to break me. I just need to find somewhere calm and relaxing to regroup (preferably near water), or walk a thousand miles to get over it. When you do get to the other side, you will be so proud of yourself for persevering and getting through it on your own. Even if it did take a small breakdown in the middle of a crowded city or a game of shitty charades to do so.
Travel life, whether solo or not, is easier these days. We are lucky to have maps, translators and searchable content right in the palm of our hand. However, the easiest way to get used to travelling solo, is doing things alone at home. The same things you would want to do while travelling. This might be going out for a coffee, dinner for one at a fancy restaurant, settling in at the bar for a drink, seeing a movie, theatre show, rock concert or sports match. Go to a museum, visit a beach, take the bus. There are any number of things to do that will become more comfortable the more you do them. Knowing you can do this in your own country will demonstrate to you that you can do it anywhere, even in places where you barely know the language. You will know enough about yourself to know that you can go it alone in any situation and that you can manage yourself, after a tantrum if need be, to get back on track.
It’s also ok to have that tantrum/breakdown/crying fit. It will only make you stronger next time around. It’s ok to feel feelings, it’s ok to get upset and it’s ok to stay in your room or hotel until you feel replenished enough to go out again. You don’t need to be switched “on” all the time. You don’t need to be sightseeing constantly. Staying in is a legitimate thing to do on holiday. You are your own person and this trip is yours. If, like me, you anticipate that you might have an off day, or being an introvert, do not always want to be out and about, it’s ok to schedule a few extra days to just relax by the pool, on the beach or even in your hotel room with room service and a good book. Taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do, at home or far away!
So get out there and have that adventure, expect the unexpected, and deal with things if and when they happen. Enjoy the adventure.
What I’m watching: Murderbot on Apple TV+. Weird and wonderful all at the same time. Funny AF. For sci-fi lovers like me.
What I’m reading: Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin. Recommended by a work colleague so I borrowed it from the library. About gaming and friendships. I really enjoyed it and finished it over a weekend.
double lunch is always a good idea, and eating usually helps me feel better anyway --- ABS is kinda my motto when traveling (Always Be Snacking, Sightseeing, or Swimming!)