Don't tell me I'm brave!
I really just want to do things.
What have you missed recently because you didn’t have anyone to walk alongside you?
Was it a movie at the cinema, eating out at that fancy new restaurant, perhaps a weekend getaway or even just a terrific view from the lookout? Do you ask friends and acquaintances several times before letting the excitement of attending an event fade into the distance with all your other unfulfilled dreams?
Why?
Why not go alone? What will you regret more - going or not going?
I get it. You might be embarrassed or scared to go alone. Perhaps you think people will stare at you, talk about you. They might, but is that any of your business? They’re more likely to be too caught up in their own business to be worried about you and yours. They might even be jealous that you’re on your own and can do whatever you want, when you want. I still get nervous going solo, but I’ve learnt to do it scared. Making the decision to go is the easy part. Taking the first steps outside your comfort zone is the hard part. Once you are on your way, the nerves will subside and there is nothing left to do but enjoy yourself. Who cares what some random on the other side of the venue thinks of you? You’re not thinking about them for the entire evening are you? I’ve been the first in my section to get up and dance at a concert. Who cares what other people think? Most people will join in, especially those behind you. I’m short, but not that short that they can see over me when I’m standing. I aid to attend and have a good time and I won’t apologise to anyone for doing exactly that!
One of the best things about going solo is getting good, single seats at the last minute. Or choosing where you want to sit (or stand) at an event depending solely on your choice and budget. There is no compromise for other’s preferences or budgets. You can go as expensive or as cheap as you like. I do both. Sometimes it’s nice to get the best view or the perfect seat. Other times it great just to blend in at the back, and get out first! Cost is never something you have to be mindful of when entertaining yourself. You can also nab great seats at restaurants when you haven’t booked in advance.
I recently went out for dinner and couldn’t choose just one item off the menu. So in the end I settled on the chef’s selection, which was a little bit of most items on the menu. Similar to a “feed me” where you get smaller portion sizes but a greater variety. I think this is the greatest option when dining solo because you get to try everything. I noticed the three ladies on the table next to me ordered just mains and they each had a little taste of the others, but I literally got all the entrees plus two of the mains and a dessert. I was extremely full by the time I finished, and yes, I did eat almost everything. I also got special service and attention from the chef/owner as I was on my own and ongoing banter with the waiter, who recommended a great wine! What did those ladies get? A taste of each other’s food and gossip about other people’s children.
The absolute worst part of going anywhere solo is having no one to hold your drink (or bags) or save your space while you go to the bathroom! Who cares? Drink the drink and get another one. Take the bags with you AND take your time! Move to a different space after you come back, where you can watch new people or see things from a different angle. Learn to adapt and get comfortable being uncomfortable. If you don’t, then you will lose the opportunity to see and do things your way. You won’t experience everything you want to do and you just might regret that later in life.
Why do people assume I’m brave for going solo, whether it be to a local event or an overseas trip or dining out alone? Is it because they wouldn’t go solo? Because they always have someone to go with them? A husband, a wife, or a best friend or sister, a daughter or son? Why won’t they go solo? Why is everyone else so scared to go solo that they think I’m the brave one?
Bravery is the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty. I’m not facing fear or danger. I’m not courageous. I just want to see and do things. I want to learn from and experience things. I’m not about to deny myself a chance to see and do things that I couldn’t or didn’t do in my younger years for various reasons. I also don’t want to wait until I’m old and unable to move as freely as I do now. I’m an introvert doing things I want to do, when I want to do them. Which is now. I don’t want to regret anything in my life, except spending all my money on all the things I want to do and see. If that is the only regret I have when I die, I will die happy.
Tell me I’m adventurous. Tell me I’m spontaneous. Tell me you would love to do the things I do. But please don’t tell me I’m brave, save that for the true heroes in this world.
What I’m watching: Alone Australia - Season 2. Although I would not survive because I can’t hunt, build a fire or shelter, I love the thought of being alone in the wilderness. I love watching these people as they talk to themselves via the camera. Their survival skills and knowledge of the outdoors are next level. These men and women are the brave ones!
