An introvert's need for quiet time
Logging out from the world to reclaim clarity.
It’s been a hot minute since I last wrote anything here. Some might say I’ve been off having a brat summer, but considering it has been winter here in Australia, I can’t claim that for my lack of interest in writing or sharing anything with the outside world. Admittedly I did head off on an adventure to the USA, travelling around the Pacific North West in a van with a friend and her dog, followed by a brief stay in Fiji on the way home.
I had very little internet along the way and definitely no laptop in my carry-on only luggage. Aside from that, after experiencing some hurtful situations before I left on my adventure, I did not really feel the need or desire to login to the wider world during those travels, except for the obligatory Instagram reels so those who care knew I was alive and well! I just wanted to get lost in nature, with my mate, and forget everything else in the world.
Twenty-four hours after returning home, I received some news that was overwhelmingly devastating for those closest to me and I felt even less inclined to engage with people outside my immediate circle of family, friends, and close work colleagues, let alone sit down to write when I felt lost and powerless to help those around me. Being an introvert, solitude is immediately grounding and satisfying, even comforting. Being alone allows me the time to process, evaluate, understand, and heal without the buzz of the world getting in the way. At times like these I don’t even think about looking to the outside world for clarity. I don’t need their help.
Clarity, for me, comes from within. It comes from spending time alone and indulging the hobbies that I love. Walking along the beach, spending time in the garden while listening to audiobooks, rearranging furniture, cooking. All these things revitalise me in tough situations and after spending time engaging with both friends or strangers. Travelling and spending time with people does take me out of my comfort zone and makes me vulnerable, but it also makes me appreciate the time I do get to spend alone, whether that be at home or travelling solo. And I crave solo time more than anything else in the world. I cannot imagine a world in which I was constantly surrounded by white noise, people chattering incessantly, the city noise, or my own endless scrolling. I have done it before, but I could not do it again.
I love to hear the birds sing. I love to dig my hands in the dirt when gardening, I love getting messy when it comes to cooking. There’s nothing more satisfying than feeling the earth beneath your feet or dough in your hands. I also love spending time with my own thoughts. And whilst I do write here and share things occasionally on Instagram, I feel less and less inclined to even open the apps and scroll, let alone post daily or even weekly. I do open them though, at least for the time being, just to check on my people and stay connected like we’re supposed to do. But I really don’t want the noise in my life and I thoroughly enjoy logging out and removing myself from that world for days, even weeks on end. I’ll always contact and reach out to those who mean the most to me, but I’m happy enough without it. Even Substack notes can be too much interaction. I occasionally scroll, read and like, but I’m not engaging the way it’s intended.
So what have I been doing over the past couple of months apart from getting lost in the USA? I relaxed in a childfree resort in magical Fiji for a few days on the way home. I went to a gnocchi masterclass with a friend not long after I returned home, which was so much fun. Who knew rolling gnocchi on a gnocchi board could be so therapeutic! I dug out a section of my backyard and created a pond. Being spring here now I’m just waiting for the birds, frogs and other wildlife to come. I’ve read books. I started an online Italian language class. Why Italian? My neighbours are Italian. I also thought it would be easier than Spanish. I booked a solo trip and I’m making plans to reunite with my American friend for another adventure.
All in all, logging out from the world and the incessant chatter of you should do this, or you need that, is the best thing an introvert can do. Your vision becomes clear from all the noise. I understand the need for social connection but it doesn’t need to be a constant. It can be intermittent. The world is an immensely different place than it was 30 years ago, and taking the time to disconnect from a world that is far too connected for it’s own good may just be the key to your own clarity and survival. I know it was for me. I also know I’m in an extremely privileged position to be able to do that with no consequences. I’m lucky by some standards and unlucky by others.
But luck is what you make it and quiet time is an introvert’s haven.
What I’m reading: Silent Spring by Rachel Carson, an oldie but it reminds me of how ignorant we humans can be.
What I’m watching: The Outsider - because Ben Mendelsohn! I’m half way through and I’ve loved him as an actor since The Henderson Kids, Love My Way and The Big Steal (all Aussie shows), but also Bloodline.
